


The Disaster Wedding

by ToffeeWeekend (orphan_account)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, OCs - Freeform, POV First Person, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ToffeeWeekend
Summary: Original story about a person who gets invited to a wedding disaster.
Kudos: 2





	The Disaster Wedding

So, this Wednesday, a good friend of mine called Tom got married to his girlfriend Heidi. It was supposed to be a happy occasion, but it turned out to be memorable for all the wrong reasons. Here is my full account of what happened at the wedding venue.

\---

It was when I first arrived at the venue that I saw this was going to be a much more fancy event than I had ever expected. It was just that sort of thing, I guess. And I had arrived early, which meant there was only a few people present. That meant I got to talk to the people who were here before the wedding. The first person I saw was the wedding photographer, Sergei, followed by my Polish friend, Jaroslaw. Jaroslaw had been chosen by Tom to be the best man, the two of them go way back. They were very nice, as was the little violin quartet that had been hired to play classical music and classical versions of various movie themes throughout the evening. Another band was apparently going to show up later on too to perform for us.  
I spent some time speaking with the guests. They were all really nice people, except for one. One guest I could see straight away was going to be a problem. A tall, rude, American man, shoving people out of the way so he could get to the tea and complimentary mints first. He demanded that everyone present called him 'Leo', but then he later told me to keep it a secret that his real name is Bob. The groom, Tom, then showed up, and this seemed to really annoy Leo, who had been enjoying being the center of attention (people asking him about America, how things were over there and so on). There was something odd about this guest, though. No one I spoke too knew who Leo was, although they seemed to enjoy talking to him. Literally no one knew him. Heidi's mom and dad, Fred and Betty, seemed quite confused by him too. But someone must have invited him. I just figured that being in America all that time would have perhaps distanced himself from most of his British relatives. I mean, I couldn't say that I recognised everyone in the room either.

\---

Leo kept trying to take the attention away from Tom, but was unsuccessful. It was at this point that Leo started pestering Sergei, the wedding photography. Now, as soon as 'Leo' found out that Sergei was from Russia, things took a turn for the even worse. Our loud American guest took a great delight in constantly pestering Sergei on the current situation in Crimea, as loudly as he could so that we could all hear it, much to the disdain of everyone else present. And then, as soon as he heard Jaroslaw speak, he started pestering him about it too, despite him being Polish and having even less to do with it than some random Russian person. Leo drunk and drunk, I think he drunk seven whole glasses of wine. (There was a glass of wine for everyone, but quite a few people took a fruit juice instead as they would be driving home when the night was done. Leo took all of these leftover wines and drank them, and a few of the juices as well. "They would have all gone to waste otherwise!" he said. No wonder he went to the toilet so many times.)

\---

Luckily, Leo didn't make too much of a fuss at the actual wedding itself, and Tom and Heidi could now call themselves happily married! Maybe this night wouldn't go so badly after all, I thought. How wrong I was.

\---

Later on, we were all sitting down at the tables in the nearby hall, preparing for dinner, but also to listen to the many speeches that are customary at these sorts of events. Jaroslaw personally thanked our family friends Nina and Franz, as they had come all the way from Germany just for this occassion. At this point, Leo shouted out some garbled nonsense about the war, something like 'remember Dunkirk!' or something. By this point he was too drunk for it to make any semblence of sense anymore. Everyone turned to look at the table where Leo was sitting, kicking at the legs of his table. The bride and groom just stood there, unsure of what to say, Nina and Franz looked absolutely mortified, as well as Jaroslaw at the front, who nearly dropped the piece of paper that he had his Best Man Speech written down on. Jaroslaw tried to ignore it, and carry on, but Leo just kept interjecting with his unwanted two cents. It was then that Leo banged on the table in front of him and screamed;  
"Hey, you thanked those dumb Kraut bastards, what about me, you c**t?! I came from America just to see this crap!"  
Silence. Complete silence. The funny atmosphere in the room from the jokes in the best man speech had immediately evaporated. All eyes were on Leo. You could have heard a pin drop in the room. No one else in the room seemed to want to deal with the problem, and Jaroslaw walked over the table where Leo is sitting, and in the bravest voice he could possibly muster, he said:  
"Sir, I am afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."  
"Get lost you Russian bastard, you can't tell me what to do!" Leo yelled, defiantly, "I'll do what I want."  
"I have told you many times before sir, I am from Poland."  
"Shut up you, I don't give a shit about you, or this slut's wedding!" Leo yelled, as a loud gasp came from pretty much everyone present, Heidi looked down at her wedding dress, "Fuck off."  
Jaroslaw then touched Leo's waistcoat, to which Leo immediately stood up and grabbed Jaroslaw, knocking him to the floor and then grabbing at his throat in what appeared to be an attempt to strangle him. At this point Tom ran over to pull Leo away from Jaroslaw, and Leo was pulled away by at least four guys. People who I assume had to have been security guards then ran into the hall, ready to take Leo away and probably to a police jail cell somewhere.  
"Whatever," Leo said as he stumbled away and the security guards dragged him out of the room. Jaroslaw sat up, coughing like crazy. Little kids were crying, they had saw this. Tom and Heidi looked horrified. This was their big day. No one would remember their wedding now, they'd just remember Leo. Everything had been overshadowed by Leo's insanity. Jaroslaw tried to make light of it, as did Heidi's dad Fred when it came to his speech, and, while it worked in lightening the tone of the place, no one could get what had just happened out of their minds.  
"I thought this was supposed to be a wedding, not a fight club!" Jaroslaw had said after he had composed himself. How right he was.

\---

But here's the killer part. Shortly after Leo was 'escorted' from the building, Tom then turned to Heidi and said, "Why did you invite this guy?"  
Heidi looked completely and totally shocked.  
"What? I thought your family had invited him!"  
Each half of the family had thought that Leo had been invited or was related to the other half. (Great communication skills there, but both halves of the family don't really interact with each other that much. Like a really boring version of Romeo and Juliet.)  
But he hadn't been invited at all. The truth was that Leo probably didn't even know who anyone in the room was. How he could be complaining about 'coming all this way from America' is beyond me, because nobody even knew who he was! Turns out he was just some random guy who had 'invited' himself to their wedding. Even worse, 'Leo' apparently has shown up to other people's weddings before, all over the country. I don't know whether he gets a kick out of going to people's weddings and then trying to ruin them by acting as rude as humanly possible, or whether he has some sort of genuine mental illness, but, either way, if a strange American who no one has invited turns up at your wedding, then watch out. It just might be Leo.


End file.
